Defining
Our Terms
Red Flags are any number of warning signs in our daily lives. Unless we are informed, mindful, and fully understand
what we are witnessing or doing, we might miss and be unable to rectify issues early enough to influence outcomes. And
if not seen and acted upon quickly, these warning signs could take an individual, family or other group down a negative path
with potentially long-term, even dire consequences. The Red Flag process is about connecting the dots of cause and effect,
an acumen which can quite literally change lives.
"Distracted
Driving" a Major Threat
AAA traffic safety experts provide some disturbing statistics.
Texting on a cell phone, and many other "distracting" behaviors—like talking on a cell phone (even hands-free),
eating or drinking—are more hazardous than you might think.
TEXTING EXAMPLES:
* A Southern
California commuter train crashed because the operator was texting. The result: 25 fatalities and 135 injuries.
* A 17-year-old Illinois girl was texting friends while behind the wheel, drove off the road, and died.
Access
the full article at: http://www.viamagazine.com/top_stories/articles/president_page_jan10.asp
Mental Health at Risk on a Large Scale
As
shocking as it may be for us to believe, the National Institute of Mental Health cites that approximately 57.7 million
Americans—nearly 1 in 4 adults—experience a mental disorder in a given year.(1)
Add to that the U.S. Surgeon General's assertion that 10% of adolescents and children "suffer from serious emotional
and mental disorders that cause significant functional impairment in their day-to-day lives."(2) These numbers and their
impacts compound exponentially when you consider the ripple effects on family members and others, especially if a disorder
goes unrecognized, undiagnosed, and untreated. And we are not only talking about quality of life, but life itself
in many cases.
However, there is hope. Each one of us can acquire a higher level of knowledge, awareness,
and vigilance towards the people around us. In so doing, we might be able to see the red flags and aid
in changing the course of a downward spiral that, if left unchecked, could persist for years or even decades. More
serious disabilities and consequences can be averted if we understand what we are witnessing, and choose to help.
EXAMPLE: A parent’s bipolar
disorder, often undiagnosed and untreated until the children are grown, impacts the family in a myriad of corrosive ways.
Here are just a few:
* Life in a constant state of red alert
* An ongoing
condition of chaos
* Emotional unavailability
* Walking on eggshells
* Boundary bullying
* Extreme manipulation of family members and their loyalties
* Spending frenzies that can impact the financial stability
of the family(3)
The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) provides valuable information on several serious conditions,
including:
* Major depression
* Schizophrenia
* Bipolar disorder
* Obsessive
compulsive disorder
* Panic disorder
* Post traumatic stress disorder
* Borderline personality
disorder
Information:http://www.nami.org/Content/NavigationMenu/Inform_Yourself/About_Mental_Illness/About_Mental_Illness.htm
 An Obsession with Fame is
Indicative of Deeper Psychological Issues
Not
surprisingly, there is a new condition entitled "Hollywood NOS," but its manifestations can impact anyone
who is obsessed with fame and fortune. Here are just a few symptoms:
* Impulsiveness
*
Anxiety
* Poor self-esteem
* Some personality disorder traits, like "an overall fixation on their hierarchal status..., a very rich fantasy
life about what other people are thinking of them, and an opportunistic analysis of relationships, where every connection
is evaluated on its usefulness in getting a job."
— From the "What Makes Sammy Run Wild"
news article by Rachel Abramowitz available in its entirety here: http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-ca-hollywoodnos14-2010feb14,0,7569097,full.story
Pre-College Students Under Far Too
Much Pressure in
Our Performance Oriented Culture
"When success is defined by high grades, test scores, trophies—we
know we end up with unprepared, disengaged, exhausted, and ultimately unhealthy kids." This quotation comes from
a recent documentary entitled Race to Nowhere. As adults, it is imperative that we reflect
upon how we can nurture and guide our young students to fulfill their potential, while still thriving and truly
enjoying their lives.
For more information about the film, visit http://www.racetonowhere.com/
For information about the effects of
persistent stress
on the body, click on http://www.qualityoflifenews.com/id4.html
Toxic Manipulation: How to Spot It in Others
& Yourself
Manipulative
behaviors can be immensely damaging to relationships, trust, and integrity. Here's a resource to help you identify
and eliminate manipulation in your life:
http://www.livestrong.com/article/14680-eliminating-manipulation/
To take a test
on behalf of yourself or others, simply click on "Manipulative Behavior Inventory" at the above website.
Keep in mind that even something as seemingly harmless as flirting to get what you want from an acquaintance is a form of
manipulation, and perhaps even a deeper insecurity requiring constant reassurance.
In general,
it is important for us to consider consciously relying on our talents and intelligence versus manipulation.
This reliance constitutes a truer and higher approach that will surely enhance all of our interactions.
(1) NAMI website as of 12-19-2009
(2) NAMI website as of 12-19-2009
(3) Excerpted from the book: "Inspirations for Thriving
in Our Troubled World."
See the Products page of this website for more information.
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 "Violence" Manifests in 6 Forms
Abuse
and the damaging of trust can assume many forms. It is more widespread than you might think, and is perpetrated
by men, women, and young people toward adults. This excerpt from a “Marin Abused Women’s Services”
document is particularly compelling (www.MAWS.org). The list is also significant because many people might have a narrow definition of violence and say
“I am not violent,” not understanding some of the more subtle and varied forms of abuse.
“The Six Types of Violence: PEEVSS
* Physical violence can be described as violence to someone (hitting, restraining,
spitting, shaking, etc.) or violence done around someone (like throwing or breaking objects, etc. with the implied
message of “You’re next!”).
* Emotional violence is deliberately withholding yourself, your services,
or the 4 A’s (Acceptance, Appreciation, Attention, & Affection).
* Economic abuse
is controlling someone’s financial resources. It includes such behaviors as trying to keep someone
from getting or keeping a job, making them ask for money, giving them allowance, taking their money.
* Verbal violence can be described as violence that is threatening, thingifying (name
calling) or trivializing which constitute the “3-Ts”.
* Sexual violence is sexual behavior that crosses someone’s boundary
without his/her permission. In addition to the more obvious manifestations like rape or kissing and fondling
without permission, this also includes subtler sexual violence of an emotional nature such as withholding sex from your partner
in order to control or coerce him/her. It also includes flirting with someone else in the presence of your partner.
* Spiritual abuse can include using misinterpretation of spiritual
doctrines or traditions in order to permit or perpetuate behavior which is abusive…Can also be used to manipulate a
victim into accepting the abuse; by believing that she/he will be punished by a higher power if attempts to stop the abuse
occur, or that the victim deserves this treatment and is currently being punished by a higher power. Mocking
someone's spiritual beliefs and customs, or denying practice of these. [This] takes place when someone
behaves in such a way that the spirit, the will, the morale, of a person is drained and
even demeaned as a result of verbal or non-verbal harassment, criticism, ostracism, or any of the above
types of abuse.”
The U.S. Department
of Justice estimates that “women are five to eight times more likely than men to be victimized by an intimate partner.”
Based on the latest research, the MAWS organization asserts that domestic violence springs from a superiority belief
system. The ramifications of this represent a pivotal social issue. MAWS’ work in the community centers
around teaching a system for creating equality, which is absolutely necessary in order to engender healthy interpersonal
relating.
As we further explore
domestic violence, it is also critical to acknowledge that women can be the abusers of their male partners, and in alarmingly
increasing numbers.
NOTE: Text for this right column above is excerpted
from the book: "Inspirations for Thriving in Our Troubled World." See the Products page of this website for
more information.
Tyrannical World Leaders & Their Own Histories of Child
Abuse
Alice Miller, a renowned Swiss psychotherapist and
author, has put forth powerful theories in her essay entitled The Political Consequences of Child Abuse.
Here are a few compelling examples of the manifestation of empathy-killing childhood abuse:
* Hitler, whose regime was responsible for the deaths of 6 million Jews plus another 5-8 million non-Jews(4), had been beaten mercilessly as a child every day by his father.
*
Mao, who sent 30 million people to their deaths, had been regularly whipped by his father.
* Stalin, who
perpetrated suffering and death upon millions, had been whipped by his drunken father almost daily.
Alice Miller's full essay is here: http://www.psychohistory.com/htm/06_politic.htmlThese three individuals are worst-case archetypes. However, any of the 6 forms of
violence cited in our earlier section above distort and corrode the human spirit. They can—if persistent,
merciless, and disempowering—severely damage the abused young person, as well as countless others caught in
the ensuing ripple effect.
NOTE
2009 German film with a related theme, The White Ribbon—Abused
and suppressed children are subjected to ritual punishment in a German village just prior to World War I. Their treatment
sows the seeds for future Naziism.http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1149362/
(4) Data as cited on the Wikipedia page for Adolph Hitler, Holocaust
section.
A
High Percentage of People Who Abuse Animals
Escalate Their Violence to Include Humans
Psychology and criminology research details case after case of individuals who perpetrate
child abuse, rape, school shootings, or serial killings had also previously indulged in animal cruelty, torture or
murder (often all 3). The statistics are shocking and horrifying, especially when we take into account that authorities failed
to examine the perpetrators' childhood or early violence only because it was directed at animals rather than people.
Read the full factsheet here, plus learn about preventive strategies for your community: http://www.peta.org/mc/factsheet_display.asp?ID=132
Interested in our monthly News Clipping Service Subscription?
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